dba LTV Paranormalists - Hauntings Anonymous - Chapter 13

The Phanton Unmasked

Previously:

"I'm already looking into the warehouse."
"And don't tell Ayel what you're doing, okay?"
"A partnership that has an employee who has a security license."
"Kristi likes photos of beds in dim light?"

Monday afternoon
Ayel jumped out of the van as soon as it stopped moving in the warehouse's parking lot.  She dashed to join Kristi and Kieu at the main entrance.  "I got your message.  What's up?"

"You got me," Kristi said.  "Aidan asked me to round everyone up.  Did you get the report done for Mr. Morton?"

"Right here."  Ayel pulled a manila envelope out from under her jacket.  "Feels wrong to just say that the carving's clean now without saying how."

"Got you covered."  Kristi opened her shoulder bag.  A tiny hand pushed up a box of table salt.  "Ginger!  I told you to stay behind."

Ginger's head poked up from the bag.  "I wanted to see."

Kristi rubbed her forehead.  "Don't let anyone else see you, okay?  It's going to be difficult enough selling what we're about to do without having to explain a fae in my purse."

Kieu knelt down to face Ginger.  "Having fun yet?"

Ginger giggled.  "Hiding's fun for a bit, then it gets boring."

"Well, don't get too bored, okay?"  Kieu stood back up.  "What's with the salt?"

"It works on Supernatural."  Kristi shrugged.  "I'll sprinkle some in the carvings' crate, say something about the purity of the crystals, and take credit for all of Ginger's hard work.  Ginger, I will get you a special coffee when we're done here."

Ayel slipped the envelope back in her jacket.  "Let's go see Alex, then."

Kristi stepped in front of the blonde woman, blocking her way to the entrance.  "Aidan asked to be here, too."  The tawny-haired woman pointed at the street and a red hatchback approaching.  "I think that's him."

The hatchback turned into the warehouse's parking lot and coasted to a stop.  Aidan got out of the car and waved to the women.  "Have you talked to anyone inside yet?"

Kristi walked over to the slim man.  "Not yet.  What's up?"  She tilted her head in Ayel's direction.  "Is this what we talked about yesterday?"

Aidan held up several pages of printed paper.  "Everything is detailed here."  He gave a sheet of paper to Kristi.  "One for everyone."

The Devil You Know - Epilogue Commentary

Back home, in The Devil You Know's epilogue.

There were a lot of loose ends left dangling when the main plot wrapped up.  The problem now was getting as many of those dealt with in some way without creating ending fatigue.  Ione saved the world.  Everything else is anti-climatic.  I wanted to avoid the main problem that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo had, a story that didn't know when to stop.  With Dragon Tattoo, the main action was over, but the mystery that introduced the story wasn't done and took several more chapters to work out.  How can I get the rest of the plot strings at least tucked away?

The epilogue does a lot of telling, by necessity.  However, I did try to get the major highlights done in an interesting way.  Karen and Ben are no longer an item, which was a given.  Jack owes Ione money.  Ione also needs to explain to her work what she did.  Gemma has her own superiors to answer to and just how does she explain that an angel killed her team in Chapter 1?

Showing Karen moving on from Ben was easy enough.  She's dressed up to go out and she just had to mention her date isn't Ben but someone new.  Simple enough.  There's no need to follow Karen, either.  The other plot points, though, weren't as easy to wrap up.  However, Mara continued to be useful.  Again, for a character who was dropped in because Jack needed a co-pilot, Mara became indispensable.

Mara's arrival let me bring out Diesel's supernatural sense again.  Diesel has a backstory, but since he was peripheral to the plot, the background never came out.  But, he does have the ability to sense demons.  He just never expected his staff to know Mara's nature or that the succubus wasn't trying to tempt away souls.  Diesel graciously allows Mara to visit.

Since Mara is Jack's employee, sort of, it made sense to have Mara bring the money owed.  I also worked in the bubble nature of the Dunning-Krugerrand, making it Jack repaying the value of a Bitcoin instead of the cash Ione provided.  For Jack, getting that amount in a week isn't a problem.  After all, when he plays cards, it's not gambling.  Jack also gave Ione a headache.  If she had just received the original amount of money, she could explain it at work as being repaid for the money needed for the sting.  Ione has five times that much, so now it's income.

Ione is also on administrative leave.  Her employer needs to verify her report, especially since she wasn't supposed to be an active agent.  Ione did manage to repair relations with her British counterpart, Gemma, and destroyed a large shipment of drugs and weapons while passing along descriptions of two major players in organized crime.  She left out a few details, like Jack and the rogue angel, mostly to avoid having to go through a psych evaluation.  Jack did promise her that she wouldn't lose her job, though, and Jack never goes back on a promise.

Gemma just gets a brief mention.  She's back home giving her interpretation of events.  Beyond being needed to confirm Ione's account, the British agent just couldn't be worked in with Mara's visit.  I didn't want to use coincidence here; events already were fantastic and sometimes reality needs to be real.  Thus, Ione mentioning that she needs Gemma's own report to collaborate her own.

While Mara isn't tempting Ione to get at her soul, she still is a succubus.  Temptation is her nature.  She knows cake will tempt Ione.  Ottawa has several cake cafés, with cakes baked on site.  The Ottawa NaNo group has regular write-ins at Oh So Good both during November and after.  Writers survive on coffee and cake, especially during NaNo.  So, why not have Mara take Ione there?

This ends The Devil You Know.  I've compiled an index of the chapters if you've missed one or if you've been waiting for the entire work to be posted before starting.  The story worked out well; I had a good idea of what I wanted to do when I started and only had to do quick research while writing.  It's when I needed to start wrapping things up that I started having problems.  Much like The Soul Blade, I felt that I had a lot outstanding that needed to be tied off before the end could happen.  Setting the story aside for a few years helped.  The distance let me see what was important and what wasn't.  Some extra research, including just seeing what was around Monte Carlo, was enough to get to the final confrontation.

The serials will be on hiatus for a few weeks to give me time to get something ready to go.  In their place, I'm posting a few tabletop RPG characters from a few different systems.  Welcome to my thought processes.

Friday, playing around with character ideas, starting with the Demon Hunters RPG.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, hiatus week due to illness.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, Dragnet.

The Devil You Know - Epilogue

Previously:

Humanity is saved.

One week later
Ione grunted as Diesel landed on her stomach.  "You are too big to be doing that," she said, scolding the cat as he stretched out on her.  His only response was a tiny new before purring.  Despite herself, Ione scritched the cat's ear.  "I'm not going anywhere if that's what you're worried about."  Diesel rolled over on to his back, letting Ione scratch his chin.

Karen came downstairs wearing a figure hugging red sequined dress.  "Still on the couch?"

"I'm not the one with the date tonight."  Ione set down her novel.  "Looking good, Karen.  Ben would be jealous, if he wasn't an angel."

"Who do you think set this up?"  Karen brushed away cat fur from the arm of the couch before perching on it.  "He invited me to his coffee shop and there was Mason getting a cappuccino."

"Like Ben said would happen."  Ione struggled to sit up.  Diesel remained in place despite the movement beneath him.  "Cat, you need a diet."

"Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"I'll be underfoot.  Have fun."  Diesel slunk off Ione.  He crept towards the door.  "Are you expecting Mason so soon?"

The Devil You Know - Commentary 23

Puny human versus rogue angel, in The Devil You Know Chapter 23.

Finally, I got to the end of the story!  Sort of.  The big problem here was that the odds were stacked against Ione.  One puny human against an angel?  A physical confrontation is out.  If Gemma’s team shooting him and an exploding warehouse didn't affect him in Chapter 1, Ione had no chance.  And that’s where the problem starts.  I needed Ione to prevent the world from becoming a massive battleground.  That means getting the rogue to stop.  Thus, Ione uses the one weapon she has – doubt.

When I added Ione's interest in LARPing, it was more to set up that Ione isn’t on the typical career track and that she will make choices not normally done.  Characterization, mainly.  I hadn’t expected that something I put in as almost a throw-away line to return like Checkov’s gun.  Then I called back to it when Ione started planning.  She’s making things up as she goes, mainly because I was making things up as I wrote.  However, there were a few ideas I wanted to use.  The big one was the idea of ineffability.  One cannot know the mind of God.  One cannot begin to fathom something that immense.  Ione placed some doubt into the angel’s mind.  All-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful, so anything that looks to contradict that cannot be an error.  The 2000 film, Bedazzled implies that God and the Devil, the latter played by Elizabeth Hurley, aren't adversaries so much as partners in testing humanity.  The idea that devils and demons have a role does call into question the Plan, but that’s ineffability.

Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled (2001).

Ione’s other problem, as critical to Jack’s plan as stopping the rogue, was being accepted by the gangsters.  She’s an unknown face to them.  Worse, she’s wired.  Marco, though, knows her, at least from the previous meets.  Ione came clean on being wired and gave the crooks a convincing story.  No honour among thieves and all that.  The gangsters believe Ione because their own bosses would be as paranoid about theft by their own people.  It helps that Vampire LARPs can head in the same direction; a number of characters hoping to move up the hierarchy while framing others for failures.

I almost was blocked when I realized I’d need to figure out what sort of décor would on a mobster’s yacht.  Google didn't help this time around.  Turns out, mobsters aren't so willing to post photos of their gear where it can be found when searching using the terms “gangster”, “yacht”, and “interior”.  So, I had to stop and think like a mobster.  The result, expensive booze, expensive but tacky artworks, and not so much taste.  The idea was that the owner wouldn't have been raised to appreciate the finer things in life; if he had, he’d be in a different line of criminal activity, like embezzling and real estate fraud.  The other guide for the criminal element was, again, Glenn Frey’s “Smuggler’s Blues”.  It helped set the tone.

Friday, the return home, in The Devil You Know Epilogue.

Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, the breakdown of movies in 2017.

Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, hiatus week due to illness.  Sorry, folks.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 23

Previously:

The final arrangements before the meet.

The trip to the yacht took half an hour, with Ione keeping the speedboat's throttle set at a low speed.  Ione took advantage of the time to get a look at the Monaco coast line and at the expanse of the blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea.  One last moment of relaxation before leaping into the fires.  At about a kilometre away from the yacht, she saw another boat, much larger than hers, meet up with her destination.  Crates got hauled out on the new boat's deck, the weapons, Ione figured.

As her boat approached the yacht, Ione cut back on the speed, letting the momentum carry her closer.  Two men appeared above her, both armed with submachine guns.  Ione held her arms away from her body.  "Jack sent me."

Marco appeared at the railing.  "She's cool.  Let her on board."

Ione tossed a rope to one of the men to tie off the boat.  She picked up the briefcase, holding it up to let everyone else see it.  "Jack's kept his end of the bargain."

The Devil You Know - Commentary 22

Ione set off to confront the rogue angel, in The Devil You Know Chapter 22.

After managing to get Chapter 21 done, I wound up getting blocked early in this one.  Instead of plot, it was a small detail - what Ben was making for a snack.  I don't cook; Ben does.  During NaNo, I'd just use "$snack" as a placeholder and come back later.  Problem is, it was later when I wrote the chapter.  I needed something right then.  Internet to the rescue!  I did a search for quick snack foods and found Scotch eggs, which seemed both fancy enough and simple enough for something Ben would make.  Thus, the day is saved, thanks to my Google-fu.

My Google-fu also helped me work out the sort of details I'd need for the end.  The radios need to cover more than the twelve miles, or about nineteen kilometres, countries claim as territorial waters.  Getting the details worked out now means not having to backtrack once the ending is being written.  Best to interrupt the flow here, when things are slower, than when I'm focusing on plot and the climax.  Or, what should have been done before I started writing, when I didn't know the story would go to Monte Carlo.  Planners have an edge here over pantsers, knowing what they'll need to know in advance.

The chapter is trying to tie up loose ends.  Gemma's been prepped, now to bring her in properly.  Ione has an idea of what she needs.  Ben and Mara get a last meaningful scene together.  Ione gets to say goodbye to the rest of the cast.  She's going alone.  Neither Jack nor Mara can go; he's a devil and she's a demon and either one could set off the rogue angel and blow the entire operation.  Ben won't be able to convince his superior, as established earlier.  If anyone other than Jack shows up, the mobsters will get suspicious.  Ione is going in alone.

Time turned a plot point around.  Back in Chapter 17, Ione needed to cash in some Bitcoins to scrape up a few hundred Euro.  Lately, though, Ione wouldn't be working to scrap up the money Jack needed.  He wanted five hundred Euros.  Ione could easily get ten thousand Euros by dumping one of her BitCoins.  Bitcoin is in a bubble, ready to pop, but people are going to do what they can to get one.  To be honest, I expected BitCoin to fade away.  As a currency, it fails the basic test - try buying anything in a store with one.  Even online, very few businesses are taking them.  The main use is in the black and grey markets, which is why I used that aspect when I started writing TDYK.  Go fig.

The conversation between Ione and Gemma evolves a bit.  Ione has set the bait for the British agent, hinting at something Gemma wants.  There's no reason to keep up an adversarial relationship now and Ione doesn't work that way nornally.  So, with "second favourite Canadian".  Ione is trying to mend the relationship, get Gemma on her side instead of targeting her.  I chose Ryan Reynolds because of his role in Deadpool, with two scenes in particular - the proposal scene in the first movie and the phone booth trailer for the second.  Ione can appreciate a fine ass.

Friday, the showdown, in The Devil You Know Chapter 23.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, a look forward to 2018.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, the breakdown of movies in 2017.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 22

Previously:

Ione made arrangements with Gemma.

Ione and Karen arrived back at the hotel.  When they entered, Ben held the note Karen had left.  Ione waved to the angel before flopping on the couch.  Karen walked across the room on unsteady legs.  "Ione, I am never riding with you again."

"We got here safe and sound."

"Barely.  You almost hit that truck!"

"There was plenty of room."

Ben glanced from Ione to Karen.  "Let me get you something, Karen."  He helped the young woman sit down at the counter.  "You seem healthy."

"Just shaken.  Never get on a motorcycle with Ione."

The Devil You Know - Chapter 21

Previously:

The deal is made.

Ione followed Mara as they retraced their route back to the Adagio Monaco Monte Cristo, the redhead's words still echoing in her head.  A demon's friend, Ione never expected to have mixed feelings over the concept.  On one hand, Mara was a succubus and, as such, tempted people.  On the other hand, other than dessert the previous night, the red haired woman hadn't even tried to lure Ione, and, once past her ditzy façade, could be someone to confide in.  Ione amended, as long as Mara could remain fully clothed.

At the hotel, Ione dismounted her motorcycle.  She took off her helmet and ran her fingers through her short hair to try to fix it.  Noticing Mara was still on her ride, Ione asked, "Not coming in?"

The Devil You Know - Commentary 20

Ione met the endgame players, in The Devil You Know Chapter 20.

This is how writers get on NSA watch lists.  The adage, "Write what you know," means researching areas that you've never considered before.  I got to research the illegal drug trade and specific mind benders just to figure out what would be involved in the three-way deal Jack's setting up.  I guessed at the amounts based on arrests and numbers tossed around on Miami Vice.  Three hundred kilograms of cocaine should be enough to keep Wall Street high until the end of time.  I needed the larger numbers to show how far up the chain Jack has gone.

Adding to the fun of the above research is krokodil, which gained notoriety in 2013 because it tended to eat away at its user base.  Krokodil is not a good substance to deal in; repeat users become scarce.  Ione pushes for it because she knows it'll be off the streets if Jack's plan works out.

With the weapons, I did some online research, but the bulk of my information came from tabletop RPGs set in the now.  The M-16 is the standard rifle for the US military, so was an easy weapon to choose.  Add in cases of a pistol, the Glock, and a few extras, and everyone is happy.  Except that the AK-74, like its predecessor the AK-47, was meant to be an export to nations that had limited manufacturing.  Get the assault rifle from the wrong supplier and it could be a shoddy weapon.

Ione now has enough evidence to put these guys away.  She just has to turn the information over to the police.  However, that's not why she's there.  As seen in Chapter 19, there is a bigger threat.  How will she deal with it?  Um, later.

Mara raises a good point.  Angels are awesome and terrifying.  Think about the greeting, "Fear not."  It's not "Hello," or, "How's it going," or even "Greetings, puny Earthling."  The angel said, "Fear not," like it was expected for Mary and Joseph to run away, or worse, in fright.  If you go back to Chapter 1, Ione ran.  Sure, part of it was because a warehouse had just exploded, but there was more going on.  You now may be wondering, why didn't Ben cause the same reaction?  Ben's working on muting his frightful side.  He's been among humanity for a while, just like Jack, so he knows how not to be frightening.

Mara.

I'm not sure how the little character bits between Ione and Mara came about.  I think it was just from their interactions in earlier chapters.  Here, Mara shows some vulnerability.  For a character who wasn't planned, she showed growth.  And even I was surprised to see the crush, but it came naturally.  Thus is the nature of pantsing in NaNo.

You may have noticed the TBA for next week.  I ran out of steam after crossing the 50k mark in 2013.  I have a start on Chapter 21, but it is in now way complete.  I felt like I had written myself into a corner.  Four years later, I think I have an endpoint to hit.  I will be working on it to have up as soon as possible.  This week, though, I'll put up the first chapter of Mecha Academy, raw, no edits, to show what I've been working on this year.  After that, it'll be week by week until I have The Devil You Know complete, with past short works appearing.  However, if TDYK goes much like The Soul Blade did, it shouldn't take long.  I have everything I need laid out.  It's time to pull everything together.

For an added bonus, I've designed Mara through The Sims 3.  While I figured I had a good idea of what she looked like while writing - she is a temptation demon, so what could tempt me? - it's always good to see if I can get the image in my head out.  I don't draw well, so games that allow for character customization are a huge help.

Friday, a sneak peak of Mecha Academy while I get the rest of The Devil You Know written.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, wrapping up the MST3K remakes.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, to be announced.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 20

Previously:

Jack and Ben revealed their true natures.

After eating Ben's pork and sautéed onion stir fry, accompanied by a garden salad, the angel excused himself to let Ione and Karen catch each other up on the weekend happenings.  Ben also was the one who sensed someone approaching and was several steps away when a knock came from the door.  He opened it.  "Ah, Mara, we were expecting you."  The smile on the angel's face had no warmth behind it.

"Jack told me you'd be here.  Is Ione still here?"  Mara walked past Ben.  She wore a bright yellow bodysuit that she had unzipped to her navel, giving everyone in the room a good view of her cleavage.

Ione got up from the couch.  "I'm here, Mara."

Karen followed her friend.  "You're Mara?"  She appraised the newcomer.  "Ione, this is Mara?"

"Mara, my friend, Karen."

Karen waved her hand in front of her face.  "Did it just get warm in here?"

The Devil You Know - Commentary 19

The spy thriller becomes an urban fantasy, in The Devil You Know Chapter 19.

Jack's nature revealed!  Finally!  And the biggest problem with labelling The Devil You Know as urban fantasy was the nature of the spoiler.  Until now, there's nothing explicit about the supernatural.  Sure, there were some odd happenings, but I didn't call attention to them.  Ione calls out Gemma having car problems at the end of Chapter 8, but even then, there's nothing said about how the car was disabled.

I did leave a few hints, though.  Some were just turns of phrases, but others were done with purpose.
Chapter 10:
"Speak of the devil."  I wanted to put the idea out there that Jack is a devil.  At this point, there's no reason to assume that Jack is one, just roguish.
Jack learned to fly in Gander.  This was to hint at his age.  Gander was used for training pilots during the First World War, and was also a refuelling point for trans-Atlantic flights.  Jack learned to fly in a biplane during WWI.

Chapter 12:
"No one has ever accused me of not having wealth and taste."  The Rolling Stones song, "Sympathy for the Devil" opens with the line, "Please allow me to introduce myself/I'm a man of wealth and taste."  Jack does have wealth, as seen with his private jet and the kopi luwak coffee.  He also prefers refinement, as seen in his hotel choices.  Again, the line was meant to place the idea of Jack being a devil in readers' heads.

Chapter 13:
The decadent coffee.  Jack chose that blend on purpose to tempt Ione.

Chapter 14:
Jack tempted Ione into having a one night stand against her better judgement.  That's what Jack does for a living, tempts people.

Ben's nature was hinted at, too, but since he and Karen were offscreen for most of the story, there's not much to go on.  Gemma did bash Karen over the head with her pistol.  That act should have left Karen with a concussion and in the hospital.  Ben healed her.

Given the reveal, it might be worth going back and checking out some of Mara's scenes.  There's a reason why she turned into Ms Fanservice.  Temptation demons are always on the job, though Mara is moonlighting a little.  The worst she did was tempt Ione with chocolate.

I didn't work out the theology.  I am using handwavium to distract readers.  Angels, devils, and demons exist.  Gemma has a Valkyrie in her family tree somewhere.  Some of the ideas were inspired by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's Good Omens, a comedy about the Apocalypse.  Other ideas came from Linda Poitevin's The Grigori Legacy series.  The main takeaways from both is that angels are frightening, humanity has potential, and the Final War between Heaven and Hell isn't a sure thing.  With the latter, if the War was a given for either side, it'd have been fought by now.  Expanding from just Christian beliefs into myths was me, though, and something I would explore again with dba LTV Paranormalists in 2016.

So, did the reveal work?  That's up to the readers to decide.  Let me know in the comments, please.

Friday, meeting the other players, in the The Devil You Know Chapter 20.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, going for broke with remaking Manos: The Hands of Fate.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, wrapping up the MST3K remakes.

The Devil You Know - Commentary 18

Gemma killed Jack, but it didn't take, in The Devil You Know Chapter 18.

It's not that Ione's corset is transforming her into being more assertive; her assertiveness is starting by wearing the corset.  Ione's reached a point where she's tired of being the passenger.  She's pushed back somewhat against Jack, but her sense of duty and her desire to find out what happened in Chapter 1 has been her main drive.  Now, she's becoming more active.

Ione's Google-fu is stronger than mine.  I haven't been able to find anything official for the song "Smuggler's Blues", let alone a video.  The lyric Ione quotes, "No matter if it's cocaine, heroine, or hash/You've got to carry weapons 'cause you always carry cash," was written in the 80s and is still a bit of advice drug dealers follow.  Jack's getting involved in a dangerous business, and he's bringing a small sword to a potential gunfight.  However, as seen later, Jack doesn't have much worry too much about that sort of thing.

Gemma was always meant to be one of the key characters, along with Ione and Karen.  I spent time working out a few details for them, ultimately creating a look for each of them in The Sims 2.  Somehow, getting the personalities worked out in the game managed to a good sequence that seemed to set up the antagonism Gemma has for Ione.  I didn't work out Mara; remember, she was a late addition because of crew requirements for Jack's jet.  The work in the game did let me get an idea of what the characters looked like for descriptions in the text.

Gemma left, Ione middle, Karen right.
Gemma: "Are you two seriously going along with this ridiculous plotline?"
(Photo capture from The Sims 2)

Ione: "Do you have anything better to do?  I don't see you going out there and auditioning for other stories."
(Photo capture from The Sims 2)

Gemma: "You can do that?"
(Photo capture from The Sims 2)

That leaves Jack.  Gemma shot him.  Jack should be dead.  And yet, there he is.  He's a little angry; getting shot tends to do that to a person.  The big reveal is in Chapter 19, but should be confirmation that Jack is far more than he appears.  I'm hoping that there was a bit of a surprise to what happened with him, but I also started to lay down a few clues ahead of time.

While writing this chapter, I was wondering if Gemma should have Karen stashed somewhere.  The problem with that is Karen's not alone, and I know Ben's true nature.  Not helping matters is that a rescue mission distracts from the main plot at this point.  So, Gemma lied.  She's a spy; it comes with the job.  Gemma lied to Ione and kept our heroine from being able to spend much time thinking about how Karen could have been caught.  No need to have a real damsel in distress to make Ione think there is one.

Since I had no idea where the story was going most of the time, I wound up doing quick research just before I needed details.  One of the things I was wondering about was the border between Monaco and France, especially around Monte Carlo.  Turned out, the border is a street, with no real passport control.  To get to Monte Carlo, travellers have to go through France or travel by boat, both of which will involve customs.  Border hopping is possible, but the two countries probably have treaties to deal with that sort of thing.  This was helpful.  I didn't want to deal with customs just to get Ione to see Karen and then go off to help Jack.

The cliffhanger leads to the reveal in Chapter 19.  Jack and Ben have met before.  Many times.  But, that's for the next commentary.

Friday, meeting the other players, in the The Devil You Know Chapter 20.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, going for broke with remaking Manos: The Hands of Fate.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, wrapping up the MST3K remakes.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 19

Previously:

Gemma had a talk with Ione.

Karen came out of the bathroom, drying her hands with a towel.  "Ben, what's going on?"

Jack stood behind Ione.  "You're going by Ben now?"

"You have no power here!"  Ben tried to push past Ione.  "Begone!"

Ione pushed back against Ben.  "Hey, wait!"

"Ben, what are you doing?"  Karen grabbed one of Ben's arms and tried pulling him back in.  "Ione?  What's going on?"

The Devil You Know - Chapter 18

Previously:

Ione scrounged up money for Jack's trip to the casino.

Ione's dream of a chocolate warehouse exploding was cut off by the ringing of the phone.  She groaned as she tried to remember through the fog of sleep where she was.  The phone blared again, getting cut off by Mara answering it, her voice raspy.  Ione pushed herself up, willing herself to get moving.  "Ione, are you up?" Mara asked.

"Almost."

"That was Jack.  He's waiting in the lobby for you."

"Good for him."  Ione heard Mara's sharp bark of laughter.  "I'm up."  The brunette rolled out of bed.  "Do you need the bathroom?"

Mara threw off her covers.  "You go ahead."

Ione opened her sports bag.  She stared at her jeans for a moment, then passed over them for her new  cream skirt.  Ione reached for her new shirt, then stopped as she spied her corset under her jeans.  Even though Jack asked her to bring the corset, she had decided to pack it.  When she bought it, she had made sure that it would match her jacket, just in case.  Ione grabbed the corset and a fresh pair of underwear, the padded to the bathroom.

When Ione came back out, Mara was up and out of bed.  The redhead turned to look.  "Looking sharp, Ione."

"Thanks."  Ione sat down on the edge of the bed to pull on her boots.  "Are you coming down with me?"

"Jack said he was waiting for you.  He never mentioned me."

The Devil You Know - Commentary 17

Getting Jack his money, in The Devil You Know Chapter 17.

The Hôtel de Paris is another real location.  Monte Carlo isn't that big and shoehorning another luxury hotel in the city wasn't something I was up for at this point in writing.  I didn't even know Jack was going to bring Ione here when I started.  Pantsing, bringing excitement to writing!

My French got another work out this chapter.  I think most of the dialogue is just me exercising my own knowledge, without having to touch a translation site.  I did check an online menu locally to check how "club sandwich" translated.  Here's what was said, if you don't want to bother translating yourself:

"Oui.  C'est le club sandwich?" -> "Yes.  That's the club sandwich."
"Oui, madelle." -> "Yes, miss."  (Madelle is the equivalent to Ms, really, but translation also includes gist, not just word-for-word.)
"Sur le bureau, merci." -> "On the desk, thanks,"
"Non, non madelle.  Monsieur Jack a arrangé pour tout.  Merci." -> "No, no miss.  Mister Jack arranged for everything."
"Oui, ici chambre trois quartoirse.  Nous voulons deux tortes chocolates et deux Cokes, s'il vous plait." -> "Yes, this is room three fourteen. We want two chocolate tortes and two Cokes, please."
"Oui, parfait.  Merci!" -> "Yes, perfect.  Thanks!"

Ione is fluent in French, probably way more than I am.  However, her accent, which I didn't describe properly, is Montrealais, which tends to be nasal.  Oui, normally sounding like "oo-wee" with the first syllable cut short, comes out as "oo-way", and imagine that pronounced by Fran Drescher.  To get the full effect, I recommend the film Bon Cop, Bad Cop, which uses French Canadian accents for humour and as a clue to why the villain is on a killing spree.  Hint: I recognized the villain's French accent from being from Western Canada.  I had a French instructor in university from Saskatchewan one semester, than a Montrealais instructor the following semester.  They pointed out the differences in accents in class.

Mara is a very sensual woman and very comfortable with her body.  She may be the one character I've written who has no issues with her appearance across all the stories I've worked on.  Get undressed in the middle of a crowded room?  It's not a big deal for her, and, as seen in Chapter 12, she doesn't believe in underwear.  There is a reason and it will be revealed in Chapter 19.  Meanwhile, enjoy the idea that she has a cleavage of holding.

The idea of computer work, like hacking a government database or selling Dunning-Krugerrands sounds exciting.  Visually, it's just someone staring at a screen and possibly typing.  These days, hacking can be done at a push of a button provided that all the coding and compiling is already complete.  So, how did Ione cash in her BitCoins?  With a few clicks.  It's a key moment for her, demonstrating that she is top notch in her field.  Her field just doesn't make for exciting action.  And to earn my place on some NSA agent's watch list, I researched crypto-currency including then-current exchange rates and how to turn BitCoins into real money.  Later in The Devil You Know, I cement my place on the list.  Writing and research, perfect for raising suspicions in intel agents everywhere.

Friday, Gemma catches up, in the The Devil You Know Chapter 18.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, continuing the remakes MST3K featured movies, with Robot Holocaust.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, remaking another MST3K featured movie, Manhunt in Space.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 17

Previously:

Ione explained how she tracked Babbage.

The limousine passed through the border between France and Monaco without Ione noticing the change.  To her, the road continued with just a sign indicating the border.  She did notice a few agents, but the agents did not seem to see the limo.  Not that it mattered to her.  Ione just wanted to stretch for a bit.  Mara managed to avoid a few traffic snarls, but a collision lost them some time.

Mara brought the limo to a stop outside l'Hôtel de Paris.  Valets walked over and opened the passenger doors while the red haired driver got out to open the trunk.  Ione stepped out, then stretched.  She heard her spine crack.  Groaning, she followed Jack inside.  The lobby took Ione's breath away with its marble floors, crystal chandelier, and arched ceiling.  Jack brought the brunette to a chair.  "Wait here.  Try not to call attention to yourself."

Ione looked around at the people in the lobby.  "How?  I think they might be calling the police to take me away for vagrancy."

The Devil You Know - Commentary 16

On the road to Monte Carlo, in The Devil You Know Chapter 16.

Modern technology really helps writers working on contemporary novels.  There is so much available a search engine inquiry away.  Need a hotel?  Ta-daa!  Need to know what bistros are around?  Ta-daa!  Need to know the flight speed of an unladen swallow?  Ta-daa!  Directions, flight schedules, maps, photos, anything that may be needed but difficult to get out to obtain is easy to find.  When I needed to figure out how long it would take for Mara to get from Paris to Monte Carlo, I chose two landmarks in both locations, then checked Google Maps for directions.  Much easier than the method I was taught in high school geography, which was to measure the length of a road with a sheet of paper, turning it and marking the sheet when the road curved, then figuring out the total distance on the paper and multiplying that by the map's scale.  Google Maps even helpfully calculates driving time and points out where traffic is backed up.  All I had to do was apply the Mara factor, where she would ignore speed limits and possibly physics and add in time spent at pit stops.

The full quote Ione refers to is, "The avalanche has already started.  It is too late for the pebbles to vote."  Ambassador Kosh was well known for such adages.  In essence, events are in motion, it's too late to bail now.  Ione is finding herself swept up in what's happening, whether she wants to be there or not.  She did have a chance to say no, back in Chapter 7; she just didn't.

Ione's explanation of crypto-currency came from a brief but intense bit of research.  I knew of BitCoins prior to starting the story; they were the reason why Ione got involved.  However, details were needed to make it look like Ione knew what she was talking about.  BitCoins are the best known crypto-currency, but they're useless for the purpose of being money.  Few places take them as currency; there's no going into a store to purchase groceries with BitCoins.  They've been treated more as a stock investment, but even there, there is no stability.  The main use has been in two fields, for criminal endeavors and as Dunning-Krugerrands.  Not all crypto-currency shares the same fate; DogeCoins became a way for an online forum to reward members when they did something positive.

If you think Chapter 16 is shorter than Chapter 15, you'd be right.  I've mentioned it before, but it doesn't hurt to repeat it now - The Devil You Know was written as a novel, not a serial.  Chapters will take up the size they need instead of being planned to be similar sizes.  Chapter 16 is about a third the length of the previous chapter.  Ione's travelling to Monte Carlo and Jack is starting to get his ducks lined up for what he has planned there.  Other than that, not much happens, but key information is given.

Friday, hello Monte Carlo, in the The Devil You Know Chapter 17.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, beginning a short series of remaking movies featured on MST3K, starting with Danger!!  Death Ray.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, continuing remaking MST3K featured movies, with Robot Holocaust.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 16

Previously:

Mara helped Ione get ready for Monte Carlo and Gemma tried to get ahead.

Ione and Mara met Jack at city hall.  If he noticed Ione's new outfit, he never said.  Instead, he told Mara to start driving.  He settled back in his seat.  Ione looked over at him.  "Where are we going?"

"Monte Carlo.  I haven't changed my mind since I left the hotel."

"I know that, but how are we getting there?"

Jack turned to look at Ione.  "We're driving.  Technically, Mara's driving and we're riding in the back."

"Driving?  How far is it?"

"For most people, ten hours."  He faced the front again.  "Mara, how long?"

"Eight hours, non-stop, depending on the traffic at the tolls."

Ione raised an eyebrow.  "Eight hours?  And what if I need to use the facilities?  What about eating?"

"I already put lunch in the car," Mara said.

"And when we stop for gas, you can use the facilities at the station.  Haven't you been on long rides before?"

Ione nodded.  "To get home from school for long weekends.  But I planned out the trip, especially when I had passengers with me."

Jack patted Ione's leather-clad leg.  "This trip is planned, other than being a last minute idea."

"So much for what the pebble wants."  Ione sat back in her seat.

The Devil You Know - Commentary 15

Oh, Mara, in The Devil You Know Chapter 15.

As mentioned in the commentary for Chapter 12, Le Bristol is a real location.  I chose it because it was a luxury hotel and it had photos of its suites for visitors to see.  The tub is real and became the point that sealed the decision to use the hotel as the setting.  I haven't been there because the hotel is expensive, but I have an imagination.  No one pays top Euro for a tub that doesn't have hot water on demand.

If you're wondering why Ione didn't just lock the bathroom door, you're thinking ahead more than I was while I was writing.  However, who is to say that it wasn't locked?  Yes, that means there is something more to Mara than the surface, but I've been trying to hint at that with bother her and Jack anyway.  And while it is true that Mara and Ione are both women, Mara is far more comfortable in her skin than Ione is in her own.  Most people, whether they admit it publicly or not, have something about them that they wish was different, men and women alike.  Since most of The Devil You Know is written from Ione's point-of-view, even though the story is third person, the bias reflects how she feels, even about herself.  It would be a completely different story from Mara's view*.

Would the bathroom scene have happened if Ione was Ian?  It's something that I hadn't considered at the time, but with the increased sensitivity about diversity and respect of late, it's something to ask.  The answer is "maybe."  I was writing by the seat of my pants at this point, with an unplanned character who loves attention.  Mara would have walked on Ian in the tub, but I don't know if Ian would have been taking a bath or taking a shower.  There might have been some sexual tension, at least on Ian's side, which might have killed an upcoming twist.  The scene would have had a different feel, as would the shopping trip.  Mara wouldn't be looking at a possible friend like she does Ione.

The shopping trip could have been glossed over.  "With Mara's advice, Ione bought a light green blouse, a cream skirt, a backless black dress, and a pair of soft leather pants."  Done.  Except, that wasn't the goal, not that I had one when I started writing the scene.  The shopping gave Ione and Mara time together where the latter wasn't trying to flash everyone else in the scene.  Mara can be decent.  Her sense of appropriateness is completely different from Ione's, though.  However, she does want to help Ione, in her own way.  Complimenting Ione's legs was more to encourage the woman to display them more.

The return of Gemma came up when I realized that, much like The Soul Blade in 2009, the plot was happening elsewhere.  Jack was keeping his cards close to his vest, Ione was waiting for messages from Karen, and Mara was more likely to go to a strip club and put on her own show than do anything to advance the plot.  That mean switching to Karen's subplot.  Since Gemma was the mover and shaker for that element, she got to headline the scene.  When the warehouse exploded in Chapter 1, Gemma was outside.  Like Ione, she wasn't in the blast.  Gemma was one of the few planned characters for the story and I always intended for her to be involved.  With the focus on Ione, I didn't get a chance to jump back to Gemma.  But she did appear; in Chapter 3 in the silver car following Ione, in Chapter 8 waiting outside the nightclub for Ione, in Chapter 10 following Ione in a new car, and in Chapter 14 described by Karen as the intruder.  Sometimes, pantsing does allow for planning, but only if the idea comes early enough.

Gemma's reappearance was the point where I realized that I never gave Karen a last name.  With the magic of after-the-fact editing, Karen's last name is now Dietzman.  The name just never came up.  Ione may be the only character to have a first, middle, and last name.  Her sister Amy only has a last name because she's related.  Most of the time, I try to find a way to work in a last name as soon as possible.  The longer a story goes without the name drop, the more apparent the drop becomes.  Yet, the only last name that came up naturally was Ione's, thanks to Jack impersonating a police officer.  Ione doesn't use her roomie's last name in general, though she does know it, and would only use her sister's full name when upset, like how Amy did with Ione's.  It's a tough call at times; when does it make sense to include a full name?  And I'll have had to figure that out for this year's NaNoWriMo, made more interesting by having an ensemble main cast of five characters.  Whee!

Friday, on the road to Monte Carlo, in the The Devil You Know Chapter 16.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, how the adaptation sausage is made.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, beginning a short series of remaking movies featured on MST3K, starting with Danger!  Death Ray!!

* Mara is petitioning for her own story.  She might even get one if I can figure out a plot for her.

The Devil You Know - Chapter 15

Previously:

Karen's safe, but someone is definitely after Ione.

Ione woke up to an alarm clock blaring.  She pulled the covers over her head to shut out the sound.  The blankets were ripped back, exposing her and her nightwear.  Ione opened her eyes and saw Mara standing at the side of the bed, blankets in hand.  "Good morning, Ione."

As she sat up, Ione mumbled her, "Good morning," back to the red haired woman.  "Wha ti' izzit?"

"I'm sorry?"

Ione cleared her throat and blinked the sleep out of her eyes.  "What time is it?"  Her voice was still rough from lack of use.

"Almost six."

"Six?"  Ione fell back on the bed.  "Why so early?"

Jack walked out of the dining room.  "We have work to do, my dear.  Up!  Up and at 'em!"

"I'm done with the tub," Mara said.  She skirted around the bed to get to where Ione was sprawled.  "Let's go."  She grabbed Ione's arm and pulled her up.

"I'm up!"  Ione shrugged out of Mara's grip as she stood up.  "Why so early?"