Ottawa's LRT - What a Mess

So RTG has finally come through with handing over the new LRT to the City of Ottawa and announced the handover for August.  For those counting, the announcement came 391 days after the original deadline was passed.  The City is hoping to have the LRT fully tested and running by September.  Let's count the ways that the City is out of its damned mind on this.

1) Once the handover is done, the new LRT has to be tested at full load for twelve days.  RTG hasn't reached that at all, especially with the double trains that will be needed during rush hour.  If at any point during the testing something breaks, the clock resets to zero.  Something breaks on day 11?  Fix it and restart the clock from the beginning.  I don't see a September start.  But let's say everything is working for September.  Then what?

2) September is when route changes happen, when people return to school and to work after a vacation.  OC Transpo has had problems in the past few years with major changes, to the point where buses get backed up past Tunney's Pasture eastbound and the University of Ottawa westbound.  Almost every time, OC Transpo has face planted and there's no indication that this time will be any different.  But let's say OC Transpo has its act together.  Then what?

3) Thanks to the delays, there has been no full load testing in winter.  The City tends to forget the other season besides construction, but Ottawa gets winters.  We get the entire range of winter weather, from mild and no snow to -35 °C before windchill (-40 °C and lower with), blizzards, thundersnow, ice storms, you name it, we've had it.  When RTG did do light testing, several of the trains broke from the snow and ice.  The trains the City is getting have never been used for public transit before, let alone in a city with weather extremes. What's going to happen with the first snowfall?  Are the trains going to come to a crashing halt?  Will they be able to run at all?  The City will be laying off drivers and selling off buses once the LRT is going, so if the system breaks, what's going to make up the gap?

The big problem is that the City went cheap on the LRT.  We're going to be paying for that.  It's bad enough that bus service now is a shit show of near epic proportions, with bus cancellations and no shows part of the daily commute.  If the LRT fails to arrive, what are passengers supposed to do?  Buses are already sardine cans.  There won't be enough buses to replace the trains.  Ridership is down over the past decade, because the service just isn't there.  The handover is more politics than service right now.

Ode to Ottawa Drivers

Local drivers are just awful.  There is a rollover counter that hasn't hit double digits at all this year.  Downtown streets are clogged because drivers can't figure out that if the can't get through an intersection, they shouldn't enter.  Stop signs and red lights means stopping is optional.  Parking is everywhere, even if marked otherwise.  In short, Ottawa drivers suck.

So here's a song in their honour.  All apologies to Richard O'Brien, who doesn't deserve me butchering his work.

"Let's Do the Car Roll Again" (to the tune of "The Time Warp")

It’s astounding.

Gravity’s fleeting.

Driving takes its toll.

But tailgate closely

Not for very much longer

I can’t keep any control

I remember doing the car roll

Thinking back to when

The sky was below me

And the ground above me

 

Let's Do the Car Roll Again

Let's Do the Car Roll Again

It’s just a bump on the left

And a swerve to the right

Take your hands off the wheel

And shut your eyes real tight

It's the flip and twist

That gives #autowa its name

Let's Do the Car Roll Again

Let's Do the Car Roll Again

Behind the Scenes of Lost in Translation - The Sanity Loss

This wasn't meant to be a regular feature here.  What happened was a planned review got shuffled because it wasn't an in-name-only remake but an actual remake.  So, since I had to track down the orignal film, I went with Plan B.  Oh, that might have been a mistake.  I reviewed The Almighty Thor over at Seventh Sanctum and Psycho Drive-In.  It's from The Asylum, same people responsible for the Sharknado series.  Except, The Almight Thor doesn't have the charm of those or of Lavalantula.  After the break, my notes and thoughts as the movie progresses, with some enhancements.

Pony Natasha - Thoughts

Project Natasha started as a way to test out character creation in tabletop RPGs.  There are two catches.  The first is that Nasty is low-powered for a superhero.  I don't expect most superhero RPGs to model her well.  There are a few; the Valiant RPG has a power level that worked well with her.  The other catch is that not all RPGs allow for supers.  With those games, I just ignore Nasty's power punch.  The power isn't inherent to her, so games that can't handle superpowers can still be part of Project Natasha.

The typical RPG that gets used in Project Natasha is set in the modern era.  Fantasy removes Nasty too far from being a New Yorker and science fiction has its own additions that could take away from who Nasty is.  Sometimes, though, a game will work despite the setting elements.  Who would have expected Tails of Equestria to let Nasty be Nasty, albeit in pony form?

It's NaNo Time!

Get it on!

Best of luck to all WriMos out there.  May sanity be ever in your favour.

"I can be me if I wanted that."

Spent time in an online chat this past Wednesday* with other people from MuseHack and Crossroads Alpha when the topic turned to anime that featured otaku as protagonists and how the trend is limiting the audience.  The idea is that the target audience can relate directly with the protagonists, and thus the title quote, "I can be me if I wanted that."  I can get weirdly philosophical when dealing with a headache and neck pain.

Let's add a bit of context.  There's a school of thought that requires a character be a reflection of the audience to be relatable, and, indeed, works need characters who are relatable.  Thus, anime with otaku protagonists and coming-of-age stories, works where the target audience can relate to what the main character is going through.  I don't care to read about someone allegedly like me, though.  I don't need a relatable character.  I need an interesting character.  I need a character who represents something different from what I can get in my own life.  Let me decide if what I have, if anything, in common with the main character.  Sometimes, I won't, but that's not the critical characteristic.

Let me rephrase the title.  "If I wanted to experience being me, I can be me."

Not quite the same, but the idea is there.  I never cared for coming-of-age stories as a teenager.  I went through a phase of reading novels by Philip K. Dick.  "Who am I and what is my place in the world?" pales next to "What is the nature of reality?  What if we can't trust our own senses?"  TV series like Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, and Doctor Who had me asking, "What is out there, beyond our solar system?"

Even now, my hobbies lead to different points of view.  I read science fiction and fantasy, exploring someone else's world.  I've played both tabletop RPGs and video games, not limiting myself to a character that is a reflection of me**.  I have played elves, dwarves, Ewoks, spies, swashbucklers, wizards, samurai, even uplifted wolves.  I try not to limit myself to being me, a white male in the IT industry.  I don't see the point.  Even my writing tries to expand my experience.  I have never been a teenaged girl, yet there is Unruly.  For those wondering, Unruly isn't intended as a coming-of-age story.  It is about girls who are budding supervillains and their plots.  Maturing is a side effect; character growth is a good thing.  However, Caitlin will be Caitlin at her core.  She does not worry about her place in life; she's out to carve it out herself.

All that aside, I don't have a use for works that pander to me.  I want characters who are their own people.  William Gibson's Neuromancer was the first book I read where I had the thought, "You idiot!" over something Case did; yet, I kept reading.  Why?  Because what Case did was in-character for him and added another degree of uncertainty over the mission's success.  Case wasn't me, nor was he someone I cared to become.  He lived in the shadows and used drugs to compensate for losing the ability to run the Matrix, the Internet with full sensory input.  While the ability to type while bypassing the keyboard is oh so tempting, I can live without LOLcats being sent directly to my cerebral cortex.

"I can be me if I wanted that."

I have experience at being me.  I'm in my fifth decade of being me, and while who I am is always changing, I am still me.  That's why coming-of-age novels fall flat for me.  The main character is meant to reflect the target audience, but no one has better experience at being me than me.  Worse, the authors tend to pull from their personal experience.  Sure, there's the classic bit of writerly advice, "write what you know," but it should be written, "know what you write."  I question the skill of a writer who only works with what he or she knows through experience.  Even if the experience broadened them, writing about it doesn't.  Write a biography instead of fictionalizing the experience.  As a reader, I want to discover new worlds, not the same path someone else has tread.

I can be me if I wanted that.


* April 29, 2015, if you're not reading this when it was first posted.
** To a degree.  The name of this blog, The Chaos Beast comes from other players' observation of my play style, where shiny buttons get pressed and stuff just happens when I get going, usually well off plan.

Happy Cinquo de Miaou!

You're not really reusing that lame joke, are you?  At least there's no sombrero.

Happy Pi Day!

In fact, you should be having pie now.  3/14, '15, 9:27.

Happy pi minute!

π

Story Concept - Galactic West

Story concepts are odd.  They can strike at any time.  Take Galactic West, for example.  The entire character concept came from a line of thought while considering commentary topics for the next serial.  The line involved directions in the galactic plane.  The result?

"There is no galactic north, south, or east, but there is a Galactic West, Space Adventurer!"

That quote up there?  That's the germ of the story concept.  Once Galactic West became a possible character, my mind just grabbed him and started trying to figure out who he is.  And he is a space adventurer, whatever that might be.

After a bit more thought, mainly on the bus ride home from work, I figured out who he is, what he does, and who works with him.  Galactic West, Space Adventurer is a chiseled chin hero who isn't too bright.  He has a ship, but he needs people to help him run it.  This is where his long suffering assistant comes in.  She keeps the ship running and the space adventuring profitable.  I briefly played with the idea that Galactic West gets all the credit while she does the work, but that has been done and overdone.  Instead, the assistant, who really needs a name, but will have to do without until I flesh her out more, lets Galactic take all the credit so she can work in the shadows while he gets all the attention.

The story falls under science fiction.  Space Adventurers work in space, obviously.  I will have to figure out how large the story's universe is, whether it covers the entire galaxy or more, or just an arm of the Milky Way.  I do want a maintenance robot of some sort.  Nothing humanoid and nothing like the droids from Star Wars.  The robot is a General Industries Mechanobot model 4413 that comes with attachments for all sorts of tool kits, from starship repair to home maintenance.  If you go to you neighbourhood HyperMart, tool kits for the Mechanobot are buy one, get one 50% off*.  Oh, the Mechanobot doesn't have a personality chip.

Eventually, I will have a more fleshed out setting, with the details I need to have Galactic West have his space adventures.  The tone is already set; light action with humour, some of it slapstick.  Think Inspector Gadget meets Star Wars meets City Hunter.

This won't be in consideration for NaNo2014.  Galactic West, Space Adventurer needs time to gel.  The idea will be a fun one to look at and play with, though.


* Participating stores only.  Some restrictions apply.  Offer expires on the day the Freedonian Moons align as one.  Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Throw Off the Shackles!

Take back your hour of lost rest!  The tyranny of Daylight Savings has been vanquished.  No more waking up an hour earlier than necessary.  No more health risk because of the shock to your body from a disrupted sleep schedule.

Celebrate!

Celebrate the returned hour!  Wake up when it's natural!

Down with Daylight Savings!

National Buy a Doughnut Day

Mmmm...  Chocolate glazed...

Apparently, National Buy a Doughnut Day is a real thing.  To celebrate, I bought a doughnut, a chocolate glaze.  Mmm.

But, the doughnut was immediately threatened!

Rawr!

Fear not!  A valiant heroine appeared to defend the honour of my doughnut!

"I'll save you, doughnut!"

A fight raged!

"Take that, though foul doughnut fiend!"

The dragon, overwhelmed, fled!

Turning tail

And the day, and the doughnut, was saved.

"Donut mess with me."

The doughnut was delicious.

Variation of a Theme - Girls as Cars

In a discussion with Steven Savage about the trend of anime to have teenaged (or younger) girls represent odd objects.  Examples include Strike Witches (girls as lolicon fighter planes), Hetalia: Axis Powers (girls as countries), Girls und Panzer (girls as tanks, and the womanly art of tank-do), and Upotte (girls as military weapons, such as rifles and submachine guns).  Naturally, I exercised my Craft (Disturbing Image) skill and suggested girls as cars.  Not military vehicles (covered partially already by Girls und Panzer), but everyday cars.  And, during a bus ride to work, I started filling in details.  I wanted the girls to reflect the cars they represented instead of just being Sarah Ford, Kelly Chrysler, or Lenore "the General" Motors.  No, that just wouldn't do at all.

What I've done is come up with a small cast list for the girls who go to an international school.  Teenaged girls from all countries attend, with an associated boys school nearby.  I've linked the various cars and other references in the cast list below, to keep things easy and clean.

The Girls:

Portia, from Germany.  A strong competitor, loves track events, especially sprints where she can run full out.

Mercedes, from Germany.  A very proper German  girl, but can keep up Portia when she needs to.  Has a rivalry with Martin Astin (see below).  Has a younger sister who she loves dearly but thinks is very nerdy.  Older brother is Baron Benjamin XXIII, the latest in a long line of Bens.

Opal, also from Germany.  A more matronly lass than Portia, above.[link to car selection]  Has a brother, Adam (see below).

"Mustang" Shelby, from the US.  More tomboyish and rowdy than the other girls.  Works out.[link to muscle car]  Loves riding horses, thus her nickname.  Despite her appearance, she can give Portia and Mercedes a challenge, especially in short sprints.  Is seeing Martin Astin.

Arachne, from Canada.  Much prefers the outdoors and cross-country running.

Agnese "the Lamb" Gallardo, from Italy.  Soft spoken and shy.  Capable of out running Mercedes and Portia, but isn't interested in the competition.

Clio, from France.  Tends to fade into the background, but is reliable.  Often joins Adam (below) on his cross-country runs.

Kia, from South Korea.  Enjoys soul music.

Lan, from Japan.  Fan of Initial D.  Engages in illegal parkour in the city.

Kaoru, from Japan.  Also a fan of Initial D.  Also into parkour, often getting into trouble with Lan (above)

Octavia, from the Czech Republic.

Samara, from Russia.  Tries her best but has trouble keeping up with the others, especially Portia and Mercedes.  Injury prone.

Barbara, from the US.  Specifically, from Malibu, California.*  Laid back.

The Boys:

Martin Astin, from England.  A rival to Mercedes, especially in school performance.  Is currently seeing "Mustang" Shelby (above).  Wants to be a secret agent after university.

Adam, from Germany.  Opal’s street smart brother; enjoys cross-country running.

David Harleyson, from the US.  The bad boy of the story.  When he was younger, he was called "Fat Boy", but after bulking up over summer, he's known as "Iron"

Holden, from Australia.  Enjoys long walks in the wilderness.

Other Cast:

Frau Westphalia, from Germany.  A teacher at the school, she dresses like a hippy.  Enjoys brownies, which she never shares with her students.

G.P. Willis, from the US.  The running team coach.  Served in the Army.

Catherina, from Sweden.  Teacher.  Brother Viggo was a Swedish Air Force pilot.

Have an idea for other people at the school, either student or teacher?  Want to submit a pic of one of the characters above?  Let me know, either through my contact email or in the comments!

* This one gets tricky.  Barbara represents the Chevy Malibu.  So, why Barbara?