23 Jan 2014

Lethal Ladies #24 - Commentary

As always, please read the chapter before continuing.

The big showdown between Rose and Sexton has arrived.  Problem is, still not at 50 000 words.  Oops.  So, the climactic build up and big action scene.  At the very least, I managed to choreograph a fight scene.

Fight scenes are different from other scenes.  Positioning becomes important.  Sentence structure has to match the pace of the scene.  Elements that could be used need to be placed.  While writing by the seat of the pants is encouraged during NaNoWriMo, a fight scene does need to be thought through.  In Lethal Ladies' case, what I wound up doing was picturing the scene in my head.  Not only did I play the scene out in my head, I rewound the difficult sections to zoom in as needed.  Yes, that means I use a cinematic metaphor when plotting.  It works; once I have the scene worked out in my head, I can then describe it.

The weapons used were mostly set up in previous chapters.  The MAC-11 and the Colt Python came from Sergei, Elena's contact.  Sexton's gun was kept nondescrept; from Rose's point of view, all she saw was a semi-automatic pistol.  Thompson's M-16 is more distinctive and is a typical US government issue weapon.  Not the best choices for reaching 50 000 words; the Ruger Super Blackhawk would have been better for Rose; three words, not two, and two when dropping the company name.  Just like the car choices, like the Grand Am.

The arrival of Allison and Amber gave me an out to continue the story.  With Rose and Elena's attention turned to the wounded Amber and to the distraught Maria, that gave me an opening for Sexton to escape.  Naturally, Sexton left his henchman behind.  Good thing for him that dead men tell no tales.

The second scene, in Rose's home, is a much slower one, meant to let both reader and author slow down and breathe.  I took a few liberties with American law and with medicine.  Amber, by all rights, should be in a hospital.  Gunshot wounds do have to be reported to the police.  Yet, Rose has reason to believe that Sexton might not be done with the Ladies yet.  Detective Lepinski isn't really happy with Rose; he gets to clean up after her mess.  A future Lethal Ladies installment should show Carl and Elena dating, though.

One of the popular anime available in 2006 was Magic Knights Rayearth, available through fansubs.  There was still a length of time between the airing of an anime series in Japan and its licensing in North America that allowed for fansubbers to fill in the gap.  Today, either a series will be picked up shortly after the series begins to air or will already be licensed before anyone gets to see it.  That said, this is where Amber's desire for her Mokona plushie comes from, thelittle white rabbit-pillow from Rayearth.  And, wrapping up the chapter, Amber confides in Elena about Allison.  The doctor gave Amber the really good painkillers.  Her reasoning is sound, but lacking.

Like this, but white.  Pu!

Tomorrow, searching for Sexton.
Saturday, over at Musehack, Jurassic Park.
Coming soon, Shadowrun and the Sunshine Award.
If you look to the right, the Lethal Ladies page has been updated through to chapter 24.

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