The Soul Blade Chapter 24 - Commentary

Officer Matt returns, in The Soul Blade Chapter 24.

Brenna made a big step, calling Matt.  It`s something she should be doing; it`s the 21st Century, after all.  But she has had issues in the past, so calling Matt is a Big Deal.  The choice of using White Castle boiled down to two reasons.  First, word count.  Every time I typed White Castle meant using twice the words than with MacDonald's or Wendy's.  Second, it exists in San Diego, even if there isn't one by the highway that has a drive-through, but not locally.  Yes, I checked.  Fast food is never a romantic getaway, but it'll do in a pinch when the better places are all closed or take too long during a dinner break.

One thing that I don't think I've made clear is that while Brenna is the older sister, Grace is physically bigger than her, taller, more athletic.  Grace had a growth spurt in high school that shot her past her older sister, so she gets away with being the more physical of the two.  Brenna can get the upper hand, but they are evenly matched.

The reveal came from something I find annoying, the masquerade.  While Brenna did originally come from a superhero idea, via Champions, where costumed crusaders disguise themselves to prevent villains from harassing them and their families, it doesn't hold well for an urban fantasy, which is what The Soul Blade is.  Brenna doesn't have a need to hide away beyond making sure that no one thinks she's insane and needs to be locked away.  Thus, Missy and Krista know about her abilities, as do her extended family.  Bringing Matt into the circle is showing her trust in the officer.

For his part, Matt is accepting of the oddness.  He knew Brenna was different somehow, sometimes lost in what appeared to be her own little world.  The field trips to various historical sites meant that Brenna got to meet several ghosts, especially at battlefields like Gettysburg.  The reason why Brenna doesn't remember the haunted fort is because she was possessed.  It hasn't come up much, but Brenna is susceptible to being possessed by ghosts.  She's mystically open and some ghosts will take advantage of that.

Matt is getting a fair warning about what life around Brenna would be like.  Bren's just too nice to not let him know what happens around her.  How many superheroes give their loved ones this much warning?  Usually, it's more, "Oh, hi, by the way, I have some funky powers and a rogue's gallery who will probably--  Would you guys wait until I'm done speaking before kidnapping my significant other?"  Brenna doesn't even have a rogues' gallery and she's still giving Matt a heads-up about weirdness.

The main plot really didn't move forward, but Brenna's romance did.  It was a trade off, but she wound up doing something this time around.

Friday, Brenna and Matt have dinner, in The Soul Blade Chapter 25.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, localizations.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, "Rinse the Blood Off My Toga".

Happy Increased Risk of Heart Attack and Fatal Collision Week

Goodbye, 2am.  Daylight Savings Time once again is inflicted on North American, starting two weeks before the solstice.  This year, we allegedly save daylight and are forced to wake up an hour early for eight months.  DST isn't needed.  People can decide when to wake up, when to go to bed, and how to best use their time, especially now that daylight hours aren't a restriction on working and playing hours.  The health risks aren't worth the light saved.

The Soul Blade - Chapter 24

Previously:

"Let me show you our latest blade."
"Gracie, you've always been the outgoing one while I hid beside Dad."
"Fluff."
"What did Brenna call you this time, Grace?"

When Brenna woke up again, the sun had long set.  Her room caught some of the soft glow of the street light.  Brenna rolled out of bed feeling a little better than earlier.  She changed clothes, putting on a cream linen skirt and a long-sleeved black blouse, then returned downstairs.  From the living room, she heard Grace laughing at some sitcom on TV.

Brenna walked into the kitchen, wanting a bit of privacy.  She checked the time on the microwave's clock; a little past nine o'clock.  The young brunette sighed; she had wanted up earlier.  She didn't like the idea of calling Matt while he was on duty, but she really felt the need to talk to him.  With reluctance, she dialled Matt's cell phone number.

Matt's phone rang once, twice before he picked up.  "Hello?"

"Hi, Matt, it's Brenna."

"Hey, Bren.  I'm on duty, so I can't talk long.  What's up?"

Brenna felt her heart beat faster.  "I know, Matt.  I was wondering when your dinner break was.  Maybe I could meet you during it and maybe chat for a bit?"

The Soul Blade Chapter 23 - Commentary

Tricia gets another skeleton, in The Soul Blade Chapter 23.

Tricia`s murder is the second one I ever wrote, and the first one that lingered.  The surfer on the beach didn`t get the loving detail.  This time around, though, I wanted to show Tricia using the rituals Summer discovered, now that I knew what they were.  Tricia`s concerns aren't so much about being seen as they are about her clothes.  Blood just stains so.  Tricia may be the most evil character I've dealt with during NaNo, including the evil version of Nasty in Crossover and Caitlin in Unruly.

While I have had antagonists who are out for power, Tricia is the most obvious about it.  Caitlin has to work with others, so she must keep her desire for power masked.  The villain in By the Numbers is trying to carve out his own niche, and doesn't want widespread disaster marring his domain.  My 2015 NaNo project, The Elf's Prisoner, has a villain softening up the surface world for an invasion, but hasn't made the work personal.  Tricia is revelling in being superior and taking lives. 

There were some minor edits in the scene with Amy, mostly to change Brenna's attitude a little.  I can still see where she's resentful of her father's new girlfriend, but I also am well aware of what each of Brenna's movements originally meant.  Amy is trying to be friendly, looking for a way to connect with her new boyfriend's family.  I think Brenna's shyness, though she's been working on it, helps with the rewrite.  However, it's the reader who makes the final determination here.  Is Brenna just flustered or is she being resentful?

Friday, Brenna and Matt have dinner, in The Soul Blade Chapter 24.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, Mercury Theatre's War of the Worlds.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, localizations.

The Soul Blade Chapter 22 - Commentary

Tricia goes collecting, in The Soul Blade Chapter 22.

In 2009, pacing was one of my problems.  The spacing of events, the need to fill in the details of the day, and showing what Team Brenna was doing while Team Tricia was out being evil didn't really help.  Words were written, and that was the goal of NaNo.  I find my pacing improved with By the Numbers.  Of course, I had also planned that one chapter by chapter.  Hmmm.

Tricia's search for a victim establishes her need for control.  Despite taking orders from elsewhere, she's in charge.  The search also shows what care she is taking, to explain why the police are baffled.  Her choice of victim shows up in Chapter 23.  It's... not pretty.  But, with Tricia around, I know what is going on and what clues to feed.

Brenna's trip to the police station has two goals.  One, to get her and Matt to talk to each other again at some point.  That bit of subplot is still dangling and needs some resolution.  Two, Brenna does have information that the police may not have.  McCoy, though, needs something he can use in court.  Brenna's info isn't useless; and the effort is appreciated, but try convincing a judge that something like magic exists.  In the Soul Blade-verse, there's still a masquerade of sorts where the supernatural isn't widely known.  Some people believe in it, others are well aware it is real, but the average person, like the real world, would consider anyone talking to unseen ghosts to be a little on the touched side.

Friday, Tricia adds to her collection, in The Soul Blade Chapter 24.
Also Friday, over at Psycho Drive-In, War of the Worlds.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, to be determined.

The Soul Blade - Chapter 23

Previously:

"What if the killings are occult related?"
"Do you believe in the occult, Ms Halliday?"
"If the killer does, then there's the motive."
"Now go tell the District Attorney that."

The rain started to let up shortly after noon.  Tricia's hopes brightened as the sun started to peek through the clouds.  The suburb looked promising.  There were enough families with just school-aged children to choose from, and the last of the stragglers were just leaving the cul de sac. Tricia calculated that it should give her a couple of hours to go in, perform the sacrifice, and get on the road for Los Angeles.

Seeing one of the last of the children turn the corner to return to school, Tricia got out of her car.  Briefcase in hand, she walked down the dead end street, keeping an eye out for potential witnesses.  She chose her destination, a cream colored house halfway down the street, close enough to where she parked to make a quick escape if needed but far enough down to keep her hidden.  The dark haired woman marched to the front door and rang the bell.

A loud series of thumps came from inside before the door opened.  A woman in her thirties, hair disheveled, clothes rumpled, stood at the threshold.  "Yes?"

The Soul Blade Chapter 21 - Commentary

(Note:  Apparently, I forgot to post this last week.  Whoops.  Commentary for Chapter 22 will appear on Sunday, getting everything back on schedule.)

Brenna's investigation finally continues, in The Soul Blade Chapter 21.

NaNo encourages writing, not necessarily quality.  The push is to get a first draft completed, not something ready for publication, with the goal being getting people into the habit of writing regularly.  Improvement happens with experience and trying out new techniques.  My goal with my older NaNo projects is to show that my writing has been improving over the past decade, from Subject 13 and Lethal Ladies through to Unruly.  The Soul Blade is one of the earlier works, so some kinks still needed to be worked out.

One of said kinks is the lack of progress Brenna's making.  I was still working on expanding from shorter works, 5000 words or so, to 50 000 words.  Pacing was an issue; the shorter works got to the point and the action faster by necessity.  That comes across better now, when I take the time to plan out scene.  By the Numbers kept things moving, even when I realized that I hadn't left a hook for the characters to follow.  Brenna, though, floundered a bit.

That said, Summer's research became important.  Brenna spending time in a library pouring over musty tomes isn't that exciting and would be a montage sequence if filmed.  Reading about someone reading isn't that thrilling, and would be a paragraph or two at most.  With Krista around, Brenna has someone to bounce ideas off and to commiserate with.  I'm finding solo main characters don't work well for me; between The Soul Blade and Digital Magic, the focus doesn't give me the space to expand.  Tricia's scenes were added as I went in part to let me get the acts of villainy written.

The ingredients for the ritual to put a man under control were chosen because they are toxic.  Lead's affect on the brain is well known.  Absinthe - the plant, not the drink - was once used to help with dysentary, and can cause convulsions.  Laudanum is an opium derived drug, and was common in medicines and snake oil before regulations existed.  Combined, well, yes, the guy would do whatever you wanted, just to get the next fix.  Not a recommended method.

Something that should be mentioned at some point, so why not now, is spelling.  I'm Canadian.  If you prick me, I bleed maple syrup, then I go see the doctor to have the wound healed for free with my universal health care.  That means that certain words, like favour and colour, are naturally typed in the Canadian style.  Brenna isn't Canadian.  She should be dropping the u's from those words.  Trying to spell American-style after a lifetime of using the correct version during a month where daily word goals exist is impossible.  Catching all the instances afterwards using a word processor set up for Canadian spelling is difficult.  I've been relying on Blogger to catch the spelling, but Google isn't agreeing with my preferred browser, or my browser isn't agreeing with anything, and the process slows down to a crawl.  Some u's might have slipped through.

Tomorrow, Tricia adds to her collection, in The Soul Blade Chapter 23.
Also tomorrow, over at Psycho Drive-In, Lethal Weapon.
Saturday, over at The Seventh Sanctum, War of the Worlds.