tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464382918796251124.post2575972052081021774..comments2021-05-16T13:41:12.015-04:00Comments on The Chaos Beast: Crossover Chapter 7 - CommentaryScott Delahunthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06735796666483741699noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464382918796251124.post-5833459734432099982015-10-10T23:32:51.833-04:002015-10-10T23:32:51.833-04:00I hadn't figured out time skips properly yet. ...I hadn't figured out time skips properly yet. So, while each character is getting roughly the same amount of screen time, Nasty has the most plot-relevant scenes up to now. Vicki and Meredith get the con scenes, and a lot of the plot is now dependent on Natasha and Omega doing something so that everyone else can react. I've improved since 2008 in handling time.<br /><br />Word count and padding was a concern, yes, but things flowed better in this one than the previous. The baseball talk came from the characters, mostly. And maybe partially from a word sprint. Compared to Unruly and By the Numbers, the time handling is awkward.<br /><br />The text messaging wasn't a change. It was in the story when I wrote it. I had a flip-phone then that could do texting, though the keypad was the 0-9 plus the * and # keys like a landline phone's. I had been supporting Blackberries at work at the time and saw that texting would be a factor. I hadn't thought of Meredith running into Tori, but hold that thought about Keith. I had a scene in mind that involved Meredith but took longer than expected to get to while writing.<br /><br />Vicki doesn't want to annoy Nasty because Nasty tends to hit people. They don't know each other well, but they've met. Eric is fairly clueless and is missing the byplay between the two girls. It is possible that a writer takes advantage of having powers to write a comic. Who would suspect a comic book writer of being a superhero? :D<br /><br />It might, but the Foundation is a private organization with no legal powers. A quarantine would also cause a panic, which may or may not help the invaders.Scott Delahunthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06735796666483741699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6464382918796251124.post-55218253763264992892015-10-10T21:31:55.642-04:002015-10-10T21:31:55.642-04:00I think the main problem with the "con feel&q...I think the main problem with the "con feel" is that it slows down the narrative. If the goal is a story about a convention, cool, if the goal is a story about alternate universes, cool, but it seems to be trying to be both. The convention stuff would work better (in my mind anyway) if more people there might be secret agents or acting weird or something... as it is, the antagonists don't even know it's happening. So it's two stories.<br /><br />Meanwhile, discussions of baseball, baths and beverages invoke thoughts of the author increasing the word count rather than furthering either plot (which I know was likely the idea at the time of first writing because NaNoWriMo). While it does go to character development, by now we've already had several parts to give us that information. Vicki tends to think about shrinking over and over, for instance. Then again, I'm hardly one to talk, I'm agonizingly slow in terms of story conflict in my writing.<br /><br />Funny, some of the assumptions we make, huh? I'm guessing the text message to Vicki's dad was also an insertion, in place of an actual call? (Damn texting, it forces so many revisions.) Hm, Meredith in particular might have been able to hook into the plot better if she'd seen Tori while shopping, or if Keith had picked up the transference too or something. Random musing. Interesting seeing how her Alpha outfit worked though.<br /><br />The possible love triangle issue does hint at conflict, though Vicki seems unlikely to annoy her possible prospective teammate by hitting on Eric (maybe if that was less apparent?). Honestly, the idea of mixing comic books with actual comic heroes is interesting; makes me wonder if a writer could be taking inspiration from their own innate abilities! (Perhaps Alec is more than a mouthpiece!)<br /><br />Another random thought, it might make sense to have the Foundation quarantine the area or something, to add credence to why Nasty thinks Vicki is the only other altie in the area? The plot does seem set to thicken as they get together.Gregory Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06547180132612659893noreply@blogger.com